“Are you going to be on that thing all night?” I whined as I lay across his bed. He was in the far corner of the room web chatting with fans. “You leave tomorrow morning, it’s not fair.”

“No, just a little while longer. Now shut up.” I threw a pillow at his head. “Alyssa abuses me.” He said into the computer with a laugh.

“Eric ignores me!” I shouted.

“No, you don’t want to meet her she’s a jerk.”

“Are you talking about me?”

“Of course not, sweetheart.” I heard his chair being pushed back. “I’ve got to use the restroom guys, I’ll be back.” When he walked out of the room I ran over to the computer and waved at the webcam.

“Hey, I’m Alyssa.” I half sang and smiled. The small box where the kids wrote started to go crazy. “Oh, wow I can’t read any of that.”

“Oh wait, I think there’s a slow mode.” I mumbled and clicked around the box, but some of the messages caught my eye.

“She’s ugly”

“She’s fat!”

“Band whore.”

“Leave him alone.”

“You don’t deserve him.”

“I hate you,”

I stopped looking for the slow mode and stood up. “I’ll let Eric figure it out.” I mumbled and went back to the bed.

I turned away from the computer and cried. I heard Eric walk into the room, “Whoa, Alyssa, what happened? Are you okay?” he asked as he walked over, and lifted my chin so I had to look him in the eyes. I shook my head no and pointed towards his laptop. I watched as Eric walked back slowly, approaching his laptop and reading some of the messages he had been getting in the chat. His eyes widened and he looked into the webcam. “Are you guys serious? Alyssa happens to mean a hell of a lot to me, and you guys need to accept that. This is fucking ridiculous. Why are you guys so mean? I… I don’t even want to talk to you guys anymore. I try to be nice and I try to talk to as many fans as I can, and I take the hate and I ignore it, but this is too much. I’m done.” he said, shutting off the webcam and slamming his head on the desk before standing up and walking back over to the bed. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe—they only said that stuff because of me. Don’t take it personally. You’re beautiful and I love you.” He sat next to me and pulled me into a hug.

“Don’t.” I whispered in his ear.

“Don’t hug you?” he asked dropping his hands.

“No,” I held onto him tighter, “don’t stop talking to your fans because of me.” I pulled away and watched his pained expression. “Promise me you’ll still talk to them.”

“Are you sure?” Eric asked, looking into my eyes. “‘Cause I would do that. They have no right to talk about you like that….”

“I’m sure. I’m over it now. After all, you’re my boyfriend, not theirs.”

“Sorry again.” I kissed the tip of his nose.

“It’s not your fault… Do you think they’ll be like that if they see me on tour?”

“I hope not, but they might be. Although, most of them are only all big over the internet. They’ll probably suck up to you if they see you.” He laughed weakly.

“I guess it’s going to be harder for me to impress your fans than it was to impress your parents.” We both laughed. “Let’s make brownies!” He smiled widely and pulled me off the bed. “You have to make your own batch though… I’m not sharing.”

“I thought you loved me,” he fake cried.

“You thought wrong, Halvorsen.” He pouted and tossed me a box. “No hard feelings?”

“Don’t talk to me.”

“Aw come on!” I pouted. “What if…you know how you’re always talking about making up a cute nickname for me, but I won’t let you?” I laughed. He nodded excitedly, looking up at me. “Well, I guess…I guess as long as we make our own brownies, you can make one up.” I watched his face light up and him grab his own box and bowl.

“Deal and you can’t take it back!”

“Just make it cute…”

“Don’t tell me what to do with my nickname for you.” I rolled my eyes and started mixing my brownies. I mixed as fast as I could and a lot of it flew everywhere. I turned to Eric and tapped my foot as I waited for him to pour his mix in a pan. He turned on his heel and smiled widely. Then he started laughing. “You have brownie mix all over your nose.”

“Where?” I stared cross eyes at my nose, “Get it off!”

Eric got closer to me, lifting his finger at first before sticking out his tongue and licking the batter right off. I don’t know what it was, but I had a gag reflex as I moved away. “Why would you do that?” I pushed him away, disgusted by the feel of his tongue on my skin. “That’s so gross. Eric, ew, oh my God.” I turned away, afraid to throw up.

“What? Alyssa, I’m sorry!” He laughed a little. “I thought you’d—like it. Sorry,” He said, turning back towards his bowl. I turned around, feeling bad as I checked out his unnaturally thin body. I walked over and slipped my arms around him. As he turned around, I pressed my lips to his before he could say anything, giggling at the surprise in his smile.

“It was kind of cute I guess… in a creepy sexual way.”

“You knew I was creepy when you met me.” I nodded and hugged him tighter.

“Can we put the pans in the oven now?”

“Yes ma’am,” We slid our pans in, sideways so they both fit, “Want to know your nickname now or later?”

“Later.” I mumbled slightly glaring.

“Don’t glare at me missy, you wanted your own brownies.”

While the brownies started baking, I walked back into the bedroom, collapsing on the bed and turning the TV on to see that one of my favorites, Definitely, Maybe was on. I pulled Eric down next to me and while I tried to concentrate on the movie, my mind was on the fact that this was one of our last nights together for a while. I pushed the thought away and got involved in the plot. The poor girl was trying to figure out her father’s past love life and he wouldn’t give her a damn clue as to who was her mother. I heard Eric say my name and I snapped out of it, turning to him. “What babe? Sorry, I got into it.”

He looked at me carefully before speaking, “Do you… do you want kids?”

“Are you pregnant?” Daisy’s voice rang through my mind.

After clearing my thoughts I smiled at him, “Why do you ask?”

“Just…well the movie kind of got me thinking.” He smiled a little. I looked at him cautiously.

“You’re smiling. What are you thinking?” I laughed.

“Well, having a mini-me wouldn’t be so bad. I don’t—It’s stupid to be thinking about this now.” He shook his head, turning back to the movie. I stared at him for a moment, smiling widely as I remembered all the times I babysat with him.

“You’d be a good dad.” I said, nudging his side with my elbow.

“You think?” I nodded, smiling wider as his face lit up. “I hope when I do have kids I have a daughter.” I giggled and cuddled closer to him.

“You are ridiculously cute sometimes.” His face turned different shades of red and he looked away.

“So…” he said when he finally turned back, “do you want kids?”

“Uhh… yeah.” I said, the thought of the creature that might be growing inside of me coming back into my head. “I love kids.” I rubbed my stomach, “And you would be ridiculously cute in little girl form.” I smirked.

“Oh yeah? You think?” He laughed, looking over at me. I knew I should say something. It was at the tip of my tongue. Eric saw me struggling for words and took my face in his hands. “You okay? You seem distracted lately. Especially right now. What’s wrong?”

I turned and looked him in the eyes, not sure how to say it. “I’m fine. I just… I think I might… well… you know how I’ve been eating a lot of brownies?” I asked cringing as his face seemed to show that something clicked in his brain. He is a cross between really confused to kind of excited, maybe even terrified.

“Baby…” he propped up on his elbow and put his other hand on my stomach, “Are you pregnant?” I shrugged “You don’t know?” he whispered. “Alyssa, how long have you thought this?” he asked me. I couldn’t tell if he was upset or just confused. Either way, he sounded frustrated and he voice was raising.

“I dunno. Not too long, I guess.” He sat up and put his head in his hands.

“We…. we used protection though. Every time. How could… are you sure about this?”

“No. Eric, no, I’m not sure. I have no idea actually; I don’t want to think about it right now. You’re right. We used protection. I’m probably just paranoid. Forget about it.” I said, pulling him back down.

“But what if you are?” he was whispering again, and holding me tightly. I shrugged and turned over so I could rest my chin on his shoulder. “Stop shrugging like this isn’t a big deal,” he whined and squeezed me.

“I don’t want to think about it right now… you leave in twelve hours.” We laid in silence and before I knew it my eyes were heavy with sleep.

_*_*

I jolted awake and automatically looked at the clock. It was the middle of the night. We had just spent our last couple of hours together asleep. While I was frustrated with myself, the second I looked at Eric’s face, all I felt was sadness. I wasn’t going to see that, insanely adorable, sleeping face for a while. I sat up and kissed his forehead, hoping it would wake him up. His eyes fluttered open after a while and he looked as alarmed as I felt when I woke up too. “What time is it?” he asked, looking at me.

“It’s like, one.” I frowned. “We fell asleep, Eric. I don’t want to be asleep during our last hours together.” He looked at me, sadness in his eyes as he kissed me.

“I know. Me neither, baby. Come on, let’s go have some brownies and I don’t know, talk. Do something to stay awake,” he suggested, getting up and holding out his hand for me to take.

He made coffee and cut us two large squares out of the pans. I giggled as he actually made sure mine was from my pan and his was from his.  “Are there any girls on the tour?” I asked quietly, embarrassed that I was slightly jealous.

“None you need to be worried about.” I rolled my eyes after he winked at me. “Why would you even ask?”

“Cause I read what all those little girls had to say about you.” He huffed and reached over to stoked my cheek.

“You’re the love of my life. Stop being insecure or I’m going to kick you.”

“You are the only person who can make something cute turn into an insult.” He smiled proudly and stuffed his brownie in his mouth. Then he smiled innocently, “…What?”

“It’s later.” I stared at him with a confused look, “Time for me to tell you my nickname for you.” I frowned and glared at his look of satisfaction. “I think it’s cute.”

“You also think Lucy slobbering on you is cute.” He rolled his eyes.

“Brownie.”

“You have a whole pan, go get some.”

“No, that’s your nickname.”

I just stared at him, shocked at how cute it actually was. I didn’t want to tell him I liked it though. He rolled his eyes. “I’m not changing it…Let’s go for a walk.”

We walked in silence for a few moments. It wasn’t awkward, but it was definitely not how I wanted us to be right now. “So I know you don’t want to talk about this…” he sighed softly, “but I think you should make an appointment, you know to make sure… or get one of those sticks…” I watched his face turn to a rose shade. I bit my lip and squeezed his hand tighter.

“There is a drug store on the corner…” I whispered, “I want to find out while you’re here…” The nervousness was clear in his eyes as he turned in the direction of the drug store.  It was probably the longest walk of my life. The longest. The quietest. The scariest.

And there we were; standing in front of a huge display of pregnancy tests. Each one claimed they worked faster than the other. Each one claimed they were the most accurate. “Does it really matter?” Eric mumbled and turned the opposite way.

“I have no idea.” The sun was finally raising and had to squint to look at the tests. “I’m taking five.”

“Five?” he asked in a confused voice.

“Just to make sure.”

The walk back was the complete opposite. It was short, and I was sitting in my apartment trying to make myself pee way too soon. I wanted to cry… but I felt like if I did Eric would worry way more than he already was. So I sat at table silently chugging a huge thing of Arizona Tea as he sat on the couch and watched Dexter. “Okay… here I go.” I said as I started doing the pee dance. He perked up from his spot on the couch and watched me head to the restroom.

When I finished I set a timer and sat on Eric’s lap as we waited. “How long?” He asked as he pulled us down to a laying position.

“I don’t know I didn’t read the boxes, so I set it for ten minutes” There was a knock on the door when I had just started to get comfortable.  “You get it.” I mumbled.

“It’s your apartment.”

“It’s Daisy, I’m coming in!” Daisy shouted from outside.

“She has a key?” Eric groaned.

“Yeah, she stole it.” She pushed open the door dramatically.

“Go away, Daisy, we’re busy.” Eric said just before she was about to talk.

“You’re sitting around like bums. So fuck you, Halvo.”

“Why are you guys sitting in the dark?” John asked after pushing Daisy out of the doorway and flicking the lights on. I groaned as I closed my eyes.

“These are somber times O’Callaghan.” I mumbled. Just then the timer in the bathroom went off.

“What was that noise?” John asked from inside my fridge, how the hell did he get over there that fast?

“Well they would’ve been first to know anyways.” I whispered into Eric ear as I got up. He laughed softly. “Kiss?”

“WHAT IS THAT NOISE?” John shouted this time.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I said laughing as he started looking around frantically.

“He’s always weird in the morning.” Daisy smiled at him.

“Seriously, what’s the noise?” John said, frustrated. He finally saw the timer sitting on the counter in the bathroom. “A timer? For what?” He looked over at Eric. “Are you baking? Why is it in the bathroom?” he asked, not putting two and two together. Daisy’s eyes widened as she looked at me.

“John, babe, maybe we should go.” she said, nervous, and not knowing how to handle this, I could tell.

“Dais, it’s fine. I—I guess it’ll be good to have someone else that knows.” I said, taking a deep breath as I considered making the move for the bathroom.

“Know what?” John said, obviously still confused. “Halvo, dude what’s going on?”

“Just—shut up.” I said, needing a moment to think. “Okay. Just—wait. I need to go check.” Everyone shut up, John still confused, Daisy and Eric anxious. I was just nervous. I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I felt like everything was happening in slow motion. Eric and I were young. Were kids really a good idea right now? I shook my thoughts out and picked up a pregnancy test, then checked the other four. I breathed in deep and turned to walk out.

“Whoa, is that a pregnancy test?” John asked. I could see it all finally click in his head as he turned to look at Eric. “Dude, you have a dick?” he asked, laughing a bit at his own joke.

“Shut up man,” Eric said, laughing a little bit as well. Daisy hit John and turned to look at me.

“What’s the verdict babe?” she asked, her eyes hopeful, but I wasn’t sure what she wanted.

“Uhh—,  I said, sighing a little. “I—I’m pregnant.” I felt a smile creep upon my face and when I looked up, I saw Eric smile as well.

“So it’s true. You are indeed a dude.” John said, shaking his head at Eric. “Can’t say I’m not disappointed, I thought I’d have you to fall back on if me and Dais didn’t work…guess not.” He, once again, was the only one who laughed at his own joke. “Congrats, Alyssa.”

“Thanks, you’re mildly retarded… but thanks.” I hugged him with one arm and Daisy with another.

“I call Godmother. That’s all I’m saying… Let’s give them some alone time, Jawny.”

“Soo…” Eric said, his voice cracking.

“Soo… I think I should’ve stayed in California.” He rolled his eyes.

“I would’ve found you.”

“What makes you think that?” He crossed the room and pulled me into a hug.

“Because I love you.” I laughed and kissed his cheek.

“This is going to be hard.” I whispered.

“I know.”

You and I
We never get to sleep we’re up all day
We’re overworked and under paid
You and I
We’re always stuck in repeat day by day
Watching time drift away as we burn away
Without you, there’s no reason for my story
And when I’m with you I can always act the same

You and I - Anarbor